When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
