this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
