i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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