Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
