$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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