Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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