Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
