I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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