what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
