sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
