Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
