Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
