Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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