I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
