fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
