He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Just puked most of my soul out..
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