I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Holy sore nipples Batman
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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