He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
