who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
