I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
