You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
