He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
