woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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