you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
