brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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