weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
