Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
