guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I would fuck him just for his dog
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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