I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
