dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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