oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
