I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
