I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
