Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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