Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm both gender and math confused
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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