I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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