I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
