I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize