I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
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