just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Randomize
