Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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