A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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