I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
