Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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