there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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