i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
