I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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