The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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