when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
