Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
