your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
