The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize