How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
