im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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