i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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