Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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