i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
