i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
