a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
