so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
