i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
